I remember I remember the strange feeling of waking up in the middle of the night, partway through having sex with wife. And always my first initial vague, fuzzy, and yet alarmed thought, is one of panic – why have I ruined my relationship with Anna? How did I get here, and how terrible it is that it’s too late to turn time back and return to being someone who has not betrayed his wife. But of course I haven’t, it’s her, it’s fine, and after a while we’re both awake and know what is happening.
-12 December 2016
This post is part of the I Remember series.